What if You Lived Beyond Money?

What if You Lived Beyond Money?

He had it all. Residence? Check. High-end cars? Check. Enough money to take a Jacuzzi bath? You bet. But something was missing. His privileged life has created a disconnect from his own self..

Work, work, work, and more work. It all appeared like he was building a mountain of gold. Family dinner? ‘Nah, gotta close that seven-figure deal’. Kid’s school gathering? ‘Sorry, honey, I got a conference call’. Friends? ‘Who needs them when you have a private farm-house?’

His life felt like it was programmed to only chase the green candles on the stock chart and commas on a screen. Relationships were unnecessary investments, love was a distraction, and happiness? Well, he never thought about it because he never imagined a world beyond money.

Then, one day, the market crashed. Mr. Richie’s mountain collapsed, taking away his shiny life with it. Residence? Gone. Fancy cars? Repossessed. Suddenly, the man who had everything was left with nothing – not even himself.

Isn't it strange how humans are wired or designed? When we have nothing, we chase it like a madman. Once we have all the material-possessions, we overlook every other aspect of life which can bring immense joy.

This is the story of how the pursuit of wealth can trap us, leaving us lost and alone. It’s a wake-up call to ask ourselves: are we chasing money, or happiness? Are we building lives, or piles of gold?

But first, we might want to ask ourselves these questions – Who am I? What is my identity?

It is odd that we find it very difficult to answer these two simple questions. But why is that?

Is it because we never gave it a thought or nobody compelled us to think about it? Nonetheless, although sad, identity crisis is real. Our parents raised us by handing down their dreams in good faith that someday, we will make them come true. However, in the quest to fulfil those dreams we forget what it actually cost us. I can only imagine how many personal ambitions died in the process, because it has become normal for people to think that we all need to master that ONE thing in life.

In hindsight, what does that one thing bring to us at all? Is it money, pride, fame, or credibility? We can call it a number of things, but the question remains – is this where we derive our source of validation and self-worth from?

The digital world we are living in is pushing us to achieve a well-balanced life but I couldn’t really understand what it really means. Apart from the professional work for money, people also include art, sports, writing, or social work in their lives, however, it’s amusing how they only mention what they professionally do when they introduce themselves in public. As if, they couldn’t have any other identity besides what they do to earn money.

We involve work in everything around us. If we want to make time for reading, we prefer reading about our work, if we want to spend time on hobbies, we call our co-workers for a company, and even if we want to talk to our loved ones, we end up sharing our work life.

Where’s the diversity? Aren’t we tired of living such a life? Let’s find the answers to these questions.

The other day I was wondering about my favourite sports icons – Sachin Tendulkar and Rafael Nadal. Sachin had a great career and Rafael is still continuing his dream run.

What happens after their retirement? Do they lose their identity? Many of them are remembered for their contributions, but is there anything beyond that?

Do you know what Kapil Dev, the Winning Captain of 1983 Cricket World Cup, does apart from being a commentator and cricket expert? Have you heard about Ed Sheeran, the Musical Artist, being good at painting? Have you seen Barack Obama, Former USA President, doing farm work? 

I’m only trying to make a point through these unending questions –  Diversifying our identity helps us hold up better emotionally.

The purpose of life is not to be happy. It is to be useful, to be honorable, to be compassionate, to have it make some difference that you have lived and lived well.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

When we were young, we got praised for things like, being smart, sporty, or funny. This made us believe that these traits defined us and are important for our existence. However, as adults, we now have the chance to choose what really matters to us, not what we were told was important when we were younger. This is how life comes to a full-circle. 

Mr. Richie Rich had the same way of living life. He chased money his whole life. He worked incredibly hard, making millions but neglecting everything else. Everyone saw him as the “money maker,” and that’s all he cared about. 

This obsession distorted his view of himself. He wasn’t a father, husband, friend, or role model. He was just a walking bank account. When the money disappeared, so did his sense of worth. He had nothing left because he never built anything else.

The foundation of life well-lived lies in what measuring stick we end up using to decide our self-worth and individuality. Professional achievement, education, financial security, being a good husband/father, socially popular, being religious, all these can be important aspects, yet, they shouldn’t define our entire worth.

Now that we know how disastrous it would be to live our life based on these measuring sticks, I’d like to share some additional benchmarks to look for instead of the above mentioned:

Personal Growth

As a kid, I was always curious about how life happened to me. I loved experimenting, did multiple things as a passion project, until I realized that my obsession could be the pitfall as well. 

The day I started my podcast show, everyone thought it was just a trending craze, but I proved them wrong. I embraced the unknown.

I stepped outside my comfort zone and explored new ideas, subjects, and experiences. Started reading books on diverse topics, watched documentaries, and took online courses to expand my knowledge. So cheers to the personal growth that I have witnessed in various forms which we all can achieve.

This will largely help us to achieve the goals that we have set for ourselves because nothing can be more personal than personal growth.

Emotional Intelligence and Self-Awareness

People who know me do have a fair idea about the kind of person I am. Once I start building relationships I understand my own emotions and those of others, too. I believe in navigating relationships with empathy and integrity.

It is paramount to be mindful of how we are connecting with people because our worth is not just limited to the money we own but also  the character that shapes us. Paying attention to our own feelings and self-care is the best remedy for elevating our individuality. Having said that, we must also step into others’ shoes to know their perspectives because it is also about inclusive growth.

Additionally, when we are on the course of building the best life, we must be kind to ourselves, even when we make mistakes.

Flexibility and a willingness to learn new things are essential in today’s ever-changing world, and are true signs of being self-aware and resilient. Hence, forgiving ourselves for our shortcomings and focusing on learning from them, is ideal.

Contribution and Connection

Every episode that I roll out, blog post that I publish, the short videos I share, tweets and content which I upload makes a difference in the lives of others, even if it is just one person. So what is stopping us? We are here to contribute and connect, because life is not just about us but the society as a whole.

But here is a gentle reminder – while in all of this, we also need to prioritize our physical and mental well-being during the hustle. We should not lose our identity, while creating a new one or preserving the existing one, by succumbing to any form of pressure.

We all must engage in activities that nourish our body and mind. For me, early morning cycling, listening to music, and podcasting, are some activities that add to the creativity, apart from my 9-5 work, which connects and contributes to larger good. Sounds cool but let me tell you people that it is really difficult to be consistent at it.

Purpose and Meaning

We have all heard it: “My life, my rules!” But here’s the thing: are rules enough for a truly meaningful life? Don’t get me wrong, owning your choices is awesome. Feeling valued, loved, and part of something bigger is a measuring stick we all must stick to.

While there isn’t a specific answer to it as the purpose of life means differently to different people, yet, I personally feel that this life is more about living than just finding a purpose. How? We have to decide that. Once we have the purpose we find meaning and joy in our pursuits, regardless of external recognitions which boost creativity and self-expression. It is a long-term game. There has to be an overlap between what we love and what world needs from us which will expand our mental horizon.

Never put a blanket over your emotions. Express yourself freely. That’s mental kindness. Doing too much can be an energy drainer, not when it is something we love. Listen to my podcast episode with Tanaya Atre on Why Chasing Stability In Life Is Important? (https://rohitkokane.com/podcast-item/why-chasing-stability-is-important-in-life-rohit-kokane-tanaya-atre/)

Conclusion

Remember, we are all connected. The more we care for each other, the better off we all are. There’s life, people, activities and so much more beyond your identity. Human being have the potential to expand, and this expansion has to be for all good reasons. 

Finding a reason and knowing why you do what you love can prove to be a very helpful step towards diversity – sing for no reason, play to fall, write to express, party to feel good, cook to make someone happy, take a vacation to explore cultures.

Life is beautiful my dear friends. Don’t waste it by living with one identity because when you diversify and invest yourself into different activities it compounds and helps us hold up better emotionally. Read more on Money v/s Passion