Do people have a right to be happy or do they need others’ consent to own it?

Do people have a right to be happy or do they need others’ consent to own it?

The Dependency Dilemma

Have you ever stopped to ponder why we lean so heavily on the judgments of others to validate our own joy? Ironically, while we all celebrate the idea of independence, many of us are shackled by the chains of external validation. This unhealthy reliance needs to be reevaluated.

We often spend countless hours on social media, obsessing over likes and comments, reacting impulsively without considering the necessity of such responses.

This brings us to a question: The world we wish for is clear in our minds, but how do we shape that world?

The truth is, if we permit our happiness to be swayed by external forces, we are distancing ourselves from experiencing genuine joy. The key here lies in making the right choices at the right time.

The Law of Nature & Our World

Our lives are governed by a universal equation – “The Law of Nature.” This equation dictates our world – our homes, our cities, the people we interact with. Each of these is crafted based on our habits and skills.

Here is what we crave for a better world:
– Peacefulness
– More radiant smiles
– Better understanding of others
– Fostered emotions and blessings
– Nurtured positive thoughts
– Fostering unity and advocating respect

The Money-Happiness Loop

Consider this: You start earning fifty thousand rupees, then your aspirations soar to one lakh. The cycle continues with every monetary milestone achieved, from ten lakhs to one crore. But the question remains: Earning money isn’t inherently detrimental, but why do we want to earn it?

Take a pause. Breathe. Ask yourself, ‘If I accumulate wealth, what are my expectations from it?‘ More often than not, the answer is – happiness. We strive to amass wealth in pursuit of joy, but in maintaining that happiness, we find ourselves running the same race to earn more. This brings us to a concerning realization: Could this be a perpetual loop, perhaps even a trap?

Igniting Joy

What truly ignites our joy? Say you are an avid shopper. You’ve just purchased a long-desired party dress from Zara. You make a grand entrance to a party, anticipating compliments. But to your dismay, nobody notices your new attire.

Despite the expenditure, the love for your dress, and the ensuing happiness, your efforts go unnoticed. Disappointed, you switch gears, start appreciating someone else’s attire, subtly hoping for a reciprocal compliment. When they finally acknowledge your dress, you feel satisfied.

Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I’ll try again tomorrow.

Mary Anne Radmacher:

The validation from the crowd equates to happiness in your book, a fact that’s hard to deny.

The Bitter-Sweet Game of Validation

A single compliment, ‘You look stunning in this dress,’ can make your day. But beware, if there’s one spoiler who comes around and criticizes your dress, all the happiness on your face fades away in an instant. You start doubting your choice.

So you turn to another friend and ask, ‘How does this dress look?’ Hoping for words of admiration like ‘stupendous,’ ‘fantastic,’ or ‘gorgeous.’

But here lies the crux of the matter: Do we have independence? Let’s circle back to the dress. You bought it because it sparked joy in you. You admired it when you purchased it. You stood by your choice, be it the dress, your lifestyle, your work approach, or the decisions you’ve made. These are all reflections of your individuality.

So why do negative opinions from others cast a shadow over your joy? Why do you suddenly begin to second guess your decisions?
The truth is that when we receive a chorus of positive feedback, we perceive it as truth. This dependency starts with insignificant matters, gradually snowballing until our entire emotional state hinges on external situations and people.

The Key to Independence

To live a life of joy, we must liberate ourselves from the need for others’ approval. Stand by your choices. Though happiness is subjective, our lives should be steered by clear objectives.

Owning Our Happiness

Do what you love and persist in it. Your consent is the one that truly matters. Find solace and satisfaction in your own choices, and remember, the only validation required for your happiness is your own.
Your path to joy lies not in the words of others, but in your own heart. So stop outsourcing your happiness – own it!

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Here’s what my fellow friends have to say on this very topic

Shalini Singh, Founder- andwemet:

It’s a common belief that other people hold the keys to our happiness, but nothing could be further from the truth. Many of us fall into the trap of seeking validation and approval from others, believing their opinions are the key to our happiness. But here’s a secret: our happiness doesn’t depend on the consent of others. It’s important to remember that while considering the feelings of our loved ones, we must prioritize our own well-being. Finding that balance is the key, and good communication skills can help achieve it.

Shagun Khubchandani, Restaurateur:

We actually don’t need anyone’s consent to stay happy. Its totally up to us how we choose to lead. The moment we surrender ourselves for others thoughts or actions that’s gonna only reflect us on soul level , I don’t say to stay selfish completely but still in the end it’s only “Me” that exists.

Ankita Ahuja, B2B Copywriter:

No, you don’t. Happiness is a state of an individual’s mind. The moment we equate it with others opinion, it becomes validation. And validation never gets true happiness. Happiness is You. And only You.

Ruchika Choudhary, Dentist:

You obviously don’t need the consent of others for your happiness. Happiness is your right and something you should have in your control. It shouldn’t be dependent on others. Happiness is You yourself.

Maanvi Rawlley, Corporate Communications:

You don’t need approval or consent from anyone to be happy. If U are seeking happiness in others you will get into a shell eventually because not everyone is going to be around you all the time. Finding happiness in U & doing things that will make U happy.

Muneeb Manzoor, Content Creator:
Never be dependent on someone to be happy, who knows what is going on in their mind and when they’ll change.

Tanvee Dharmadhikari, Writer & Creator:
Your happiness is in your control. You deserve to choose what makes you happy. Not others.