How To Change Your Life For Better?

How To Change Your Life For Better?

Life is a journey with its highs and lows, so how do you bring in the change?

We find ourselves stuck in patterns that either make us feel caged or overly comfortable. In an enlightening episode (Click here) of the Motivation Spark Podcast, I dive deep into a conversation with Dr. Maike, a positive psychology practitioner and behavior change expert, exploring the nuances of living a fulfilled life beyond the familiar confines of comfort and fear.

The Three Paths of Life

Dr. Maike introduces us to the concept of three distinct life paths – the caged life, the comfortable life, and the charged life. Each represents a phase we might traverse through at different times in our lives. I have been through all of it because as a human being we all are evolving. 

The caged life is marred by restrictions, be they external or self-imposed. The comfortable life is one of safety but often lacks fulfillment, while the charged life is driven by purpose and passion, pushing us towards our dreams. 

We are always figuring out to be at our best and we have a choice of how do we live our life. All our choices and responses to the given moments of life will help us to choose the category we are into. There’s no perfect life that one can live, but there are perspectives from which you can learn a lot about human behavior, which makes life even more amazing

How To Step Out Of The Caged Zone?

A life lived in fear of taking risks or exploring new possibilities is a life caged by invisible barriers. Dr. Maike talks about acknowledging these fears and taking small, deliberate steps towards overcoming them.

Life is not linear. It’s okay to go backward sometimes because that’s how growth happens.

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Dr. Maike adds, emphasizing the importance of perseverance and grit in moving beyond limitations.

We know from research that what people regret the most. At the end of their lives is not the things they have tried and then left or failed at, you know, and this quote unquote failed at. It’s the things they never gave a shot.

They regret never having tried that thing, never having started the lessons, never having started to try that sport, never having acted on their dream to start that business or the side hustle, or speaking your truth, telling someone how you really feel, that’s what we regret the most.

That’s the reason stepping out of the cage feels like of enjoying the freedom. Fostering your self awareness, really tuning in with yourself is always a good idea and a good starting point. Remember, freedom isn’t free. To know why, you can listen to this episode of Motivation Spark. 

Why Comfort Zone Isn’t Good For Human Being?

While living comfortably may seem appealing, it often leads to stagnation. Dr. Maike stresses the value of constantly seeking growth and embracing changes, stating, "It's about not becoming complacent in the comfort but using it as a stepping stone for growth."

Comfort is a nice place to live in and when you get obsessed with it, you don’t progress after a point and hence it is important to introspect.

Dr. Maike emphasizes to start with yourself. You dig deep, you ask yourself, well, what is your version of happiness and success? What is your purpose?

What gives your life meaning? What do you find As meaningful in life. What are the bigger goals you have? What do you dream about? You know, so really ask yourself that. 

Step away from the society norms. Step away from how everybody else around you or on Instagram people define success and happiness. Ask yourself what it means to you. If we find the right answers to all of this we are on a pedestal to live a charged life in days to come and for that we have to find balance between two very key elements.

How To Find Balance Between Risk and Recklessness?

A charged life is full of enthusiasm and motivation, but how do we distinguish between taking calculated risks and being reckless? “It all comes down to understanding what truly matters to you,” says Dr. Maike. She suggests focusing on intrinsic motivators rather than external validations and emphasizes the significance of comparing oneself to one’s past achievements rather than others’ success.

She says, I think the most important thing to understand is that not doing something. Well, there’s an opportunity cost and that bears a risk and we forget about that. And that’s to all the people sitting very comfortably in that middle. Well, what’s the cost there? The cost there is coming to the end of your life, looking back and going, crap, I wish I would have done X, Y, Z.

I wish I would have, you know, lived more courageously and at least given it a shot and stuff like that. So there’s a risk no matter what you do. There’s Always a cost if you say yes, or if you say no, if you go left or if you go right, you know, we can’t have it all. So again, it comes down to what really matters to you.

And then if you, if you can afford to be risky, well, go, you know, go for gold. If that’s the kind of person you are. And  if that’s the kind of lifestyle you can bear, but if you are someone who needs more security and certainty, well then take tiny steps. That’s completely fine. And it doesn’t come down to how big a step you take. 

Hence, assess the situation and make a strategic shift towards your life rather than digging your own grave by being reckless. By being reckless we well be more relying on external validation which can complicate our life.

Why You Should Step Beyond External Validation?

In today’s world dominated by social media, it’s easy to fall into the trap of seeking external validation. Dr. Maike encourages finding fulfillment in intrinsic motivation, stating, “Notice how things make you feel and remember, comparison is the thief of joy. Challenge your perceptions and nurture connections that inspire personal growth.”

She adds, I scroll through social media and I think everybody else is, is building their business so much more successful and so much bigger and they earn so much more money and they traveled to more countries and they are just happier.  I think it’s completely normal.

And you just have to ask yourself, where does that pressure come from? You know, so, and then reduce that, reduce that input. I have to take time away from Instagram. Every now and then, you know, I have to be careful with the people I surround myself with because you can have people in your life who only show that successful side.

And you have to remember that they also live their own challenges, question your own beliefs. Nothing is straightforward, easy. If you think it’s technology in general that makes you feel like crap at some stage, well then.

Step away from it if you can. I think there’s always something little we can do. Vouch and reflect for the internal validation. There’s more peace into it.

Why You Need Grit Along With Compassion?

Combining passion with perseverance, grit emerges as a key ingredient for a charged life. Dr. Maike redefines grit as being consistent and passionate about our long-term goals while also being compassionate towards ourselves. “Grit doesn’t mean hardness; it’s about moving forward with kindness towards oneself,” she articulates.

She believes, to let grit work, understand what matters to you. What are your passions? What are you passionate about? What really matters to you? What makes you jump out of bed in the morning? What does your heart burn for? Because that’s energy you can use that will get you through to those long term goals, even if you just take those 1 percent steps every day. 

And then turn to effort, look at how you can be consistent somehow. And again, sometimes we go a few steps forward, sometimes we’ll fall back. That’s very usual. We have to be compassionate towards every moment in life.

Hence, be compassionate and let grit be the part of arsenal when you fight against the odds of life.  

Conclusion

As my conversation with Dr. Maike concludes, we are left inspired to challenge the boundaries of our comfort zones, confront our fears, and passionately pursue a life charged with purpose. It’s a call to ignite the spark within us, one voice at a time, and march towards a life of fulfillment, growth, and boundless potential.

Let’s take these insights to heart and start a journey that transcends the mundane, embracing the beautiful complexity of life in all its forms. Remember, the quest for a charged life begins with a single step out of the cage of fear and the cradle of comfort into the vast expanse of endless possibilities which changes our life for better.