How To Be Unaffected By Others’ Opinions About You

How To Be Unaffected By Others’ Opinions About You

Have you ever had a moment where someone else’s opinion truly shook your confidence or sense of self?

In a world obsessed with self-expression, is there a danger of neglecting the importance of listening and understanding the perspectives of others?

Apologies for throwing in these questions but they seem necessary. Just remember, there are no right answers to these questions. Their sole purpose is to encourage introspection and ignite thoughtful discussion.

The word ‘Opinion’, is quite intricate and can have multiple facets. It can be used as constructive criticism, or a personal assessment of a situation, object, or of a person. By now you will realise that there are other things more useless than opinions hence a bit of your attention is what all I want.

It’s important to remember opinions are personal biases that may either help adjust our mindset or can project feelings of intimidation and worthlessness. Reason why we need to value our own opinions when we feel so strongly about them.

Now the question is – Do the opinions of others matter to you?

Let me tell you a story-

Once, in a small village, there was a man and his son. They went to a village fair and bought a mule. On the way back, some folks made fun of them, saying, “Why walk when you can ride the mule?” So, the dad sat on the mule, and the son walked.

But then, others started talking, calling the dad selfish for sitting while his son walked. So, they switched – the son rode the mule, and the dad walked. Further along, people said the son was disrespectful for sitting while his old father walked.

Feeling confused, they both decided to ride the mule together. This time, people criticized them for being cruel and both riding when the mule could only support one. 

The lesson learned - No matter what you do, people will always find something to say.

Someone will always have an opinion because people love to give opinions, and I’m no exception. I have opinions too. So, do what you want. 

If you claim to have never done that, you have been lying all these years.

Giving opinions is like backseat driving. You know the road, and you can see the other vehicles too, but you are not driving. Which means, you are not helping to reach the destination in any way. As a result, whatever you say until then, will not matter.

If you ask me how I deal with those opinions fired at me at point blank then here’s my way of ducking them. I let the extent of our relationship decide it.

If it’s someone I really love or care about, their opinions will obviously matter to me. And so, I will care a huge deal about it. I will be interested to know what they think about my decisions, and where they think I might be making mistakes.

However, at the end of the day, I’m responsible for my life. If this person is not that important to me, I may still listen, but I wouldn’t really care as much.

I like listening to people and learning about their thoughts or opinions solely to understand them better. What they think about me doesn’t really bother me, unless they are the ones that matter. I believe nothing in this world will affect me, unless I allow it to. I don’t let less important people have an impact on me.

On the flip side, you have to act differently when you are doing business. Not merely for the sake of it, but because the lessons learned in that arena are different. While you may have heard quite often that, ‘Their opinions of you don’t describe you, it describes them,’ this may not apply entirely in the business context.

People or customers will always have an opinion about what you are selling and its price, but how you make them feel during the whole transaction is the key. Not everyone has the same approach to cracking the deal. 

Some are easy and some are stubborn. I fall in the latter category as I believe that you don’t make friends while making money. Nonetheless, you need to build friendships too, if you want to make money. You can apply the same theory in everything you do, just an opinion. 😛

We all come with different traits, which is what makes human beings special.

Although, saying that ‘other people’s opinions don’t matter’ may be extremely simplistic, there are definitely ways to prioritize your own judgment and build confidence amidst external voices.

How? Here is how!

Understanding The Noise

Sometimes, the harshest opinions come from within. Remember the times when you made bad decisions even when your instincts did hold you from taking them? I have been a victim of the same. But, what’s done is not in your control. So, learn to distinguish these from external voices and practice self-compassion.

Identify Unhelpful Opinions

Not all opinions are created equal. Make sure to discern constructive feedback, unsolicited advice, and negativity which you can safely ignore as they all come from different people, situations, moments, lived experiences and actions of an individual. 

Hope you remember the context when you deal with the opinions as there will be biases as it doesn’t reflect the universal truth.

Connect With Your Values

The best way to protect yourself is to refine what truly matters to you. This gives us a strong internal compass to guide our decisions. 

Success is largely based on the values we adhere to. Small deviation from it and it will raise many questions about our integrity.

I have always preferred listening to my inner voice because whatever I tend to observe and interpret turns out to be true in most of the cases.

Develop Self-Awareness

Self-awareness is not the same as self-consciousness. Opinions make us conscious because we believe that when they come from people who have achieved it all then it should matter to us as well. Let’s clear the air– No one has got it ‘ALL’.

Thus, reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations. Knowing ourselves empowers us to make choices aligned with our authentic self.

Practice Boundaries

If we don’t say yes authentically, we say yes resentfully, and that leads to far more problems than if we’d said no in the first place.

Gurneet Chhabra

It’s okay to politely decline discussions or engagements that drain our energy or violate our values. I have built a supportive circle. Surrounding myself with people who respect my individuality and uplift me has been a game-changer. Their encouragement has been a valuable buffer against negativity.

Seek Professional Help If Needed

There’s no shame in asking for help. If external opinions are causing significant distress, consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They can equip you with tools to manage anxiety and cultivate self-worth because the ultimate goal of our existence is to be happy because you can’t pursue happiness. It has to be felt and nobody can do it for you.

Conclusion

Now is the time to reset your reality because thoughts are curious creatures and they will find a way to bother you enough. 

Some constructive criticism or feedback is ok but don’t let yourself get weighed down with other people’s opinion because judging yourself can put you on the back foot when all we are trying to do is take a leap of faith.